Getting My Non-Gamer Friends to Actually Enjoy Games

My girlfriend thought she hated video games. She'd tried a few times with friends and always felt lost or frustrated. She'd tell me "I'm just not a gamer" like it was some fixed personality trait. But last weekend, she spent two hours playing games with me and actually had fun. Here's how I got someone who "doesn't game" to genuinely enjoy it.

It wasn't easy at first. I made a lot of mistakes. I tried to get her into games I loved, which were way too complex for a beginner. I got frustrated when she didn't understand things that seemed obvious to me. But I learned from those mistakes, and now we have a weekly gaming night that we both look forward to.

Start with Something Dead Simple - This Is Critical

This is where most people mess up. They try to introduce their friends to gaming with whatever game they personally love. But if you've been gaming for years, you forget how confusing controls and game mechanics can be for beginners. What seems intuitive to you is completely foreign to someone who's never held a controller.

I started my girlfriend with a basic bubble shooter game. That's it. Move the mouse, click to shoot, match three colors. No complex rules, no dozens of buttons to remember, no reading tutorials. She got it in 30 seconds. That immediate understanding was key - she felt capable right away instead of overwhelmed.

Once she felt comfortable with that, we moved to slightly more complex games. But starting simple was key. Nobody wants to feel stupid or overwhelmed when they're trying to have fun. The goal is to build confidence, not challenge them immediately.

I see people try to introduce their friends to complex RPGs or strategy games right away, and it never works. They get confused, frustrated, and give up. Start with something that takes 30 seconds to understand, not 30 minutes.

Never, Ever Say "It's Easy" - Learned This the Hard Way

I learned this the hard way. My friend was struggling with a puzzle, and I said "oh, that's easy, just..." and proceeded to solve it for him. He didn't touch another game for months. I made him feel stupid, and nobody wants to feel stupid when they're trying to have fun.

What seems easy to you is not easy for someone who's never played before. When someone's struggling, don't solve it for them or tell them it's simple. Just give them a tiny hint and let them figure it out. That feeling of solving something themselves is way more fun than watching you do it.

Now when my girlfriend gets stuck, I'll say something like "try looking at the bottom row" instead of "just move that block there." She still gets to solve it, but with a little nudge in the right direction. The satisfaction of figuring it out herself is what keeps her coming back.

Pick Co-op, Not Competitive - This Matters

Don't make someone's first gaming experience a competition against you. You'll win, they'll lose, they won't have fun. Simple as that. I tried playing competitive games with my girlfriend once, and she got frustrated after losing three times in a row. Never again.

Instead, find games where you can work together. Even if it's just taking turns and cheering each other on. Make it about having fun together, not about who's better at the game. The goal is to share an experience, not to prove who's better.

My girlfriend and I take turns on puzzle games. When she's playing, I'm just there for moral support. When I'm playing, she's doing the same. No pressure, no comparison, just two people enjoying games in the same space. Sometimes we'll work together on a particularly tricky puzzle, brainstorming solutions together.

Let Them Pick the Game - They Know What They Like

After that first simple game, show them a few options and let them choose what looks interesting. Don't push your favorites on them. What you think they'll like might not be what they actually enjoy.

My girlfriend surprised me by picking a strategy city-builder game. I would have never guessed she'd like that type of game, but she loved planning out her little city. She spent hours carefully placing buildings and managing resources. If I'd just picked games for her based on what I thought she'd like, we might have missed that.

People know what appeals to them. Show them options, let them explore, and see what clicks. You might be surprised by what they choose. My girlfriend also loves puzzle games with beautiful visuals, which I never would have guessed.

Take Breaks - Non-Gamers Get Mentally Tired

Non-gamers aren't used to focusing on a screen for long periods. What feels like "just a quick gaming session" to you might be mentally exhausting for them. I learned this when my girlfriend got a headache after playing for an hour straight.

Play for 20-30 minutes, then take a break. Get snacks, talk about something else, let them rest their eyes. If they're having fun, they'll want to come back to it. If you push too long, they'll just get tired and associate gaming with being drained.

Now we play for about 30 minutes, then take a 10-minute break. During the break, we'll chat, get drinks, or just sit quietly. Then we come back refreshed and ready to play more. This makes the whole experience way more enjoyable for both of us.

Don't Backseat Game - Let Them Explore

This is hard, especially when you can see exactly what they need to do. But resist the urge to constantly give advice unless they ask for it. I used to constantly say "try this" or "do that" and it drove my girlfriend crazy.

Let them explore and figure things out. Let them make mistakes. Let them play "wrong." As long as they're having fun, it doesn't matter if they're not playing optimally. Save the tips for when they actually ask for help.

My girlfriend once spent 20 minutes trying to solve a puzzle in a way that would never work. I wanted to tell her the right way, but I kept quiet. When she finally figured it out herself, she was so proud. That moment of discovery was worth way more than if I'd just told her the solution.

Acknowledge When It's Not Working - Don't Force It

Sometimes you'll pick a game and the person just isn't into it. That's okay. Don't force it. Just say "want to try something different?" and move on. Not every game is for everyone, and that's fine.

My buddy tried three different games before finding one he liked. The first two just didn't click with him, and that's fine. If I'd insisted he keep playing something he wasn't enjoying, he probably would have given up on gaming altogether.

There are thousands of games out there. If one doesn't work, try another. The goal is to find something they enjoy, not to make them like a specific game. Be flexible and willing to try different things.

Make It Social - Gaming Is Better Together

For a lot of non-gamers, the appeal isn't the game itself - it's spending time with you. So make it social. Talk while you play, laugh at funny moments, share snacks, make it an activity you're doing together rather than just gaming.

When I have friends over, gaming is just one of several things we might do. We're not sitting in silence staring at screens. We're hanging out, and gaming happens to be part of that. We'll chat, joke around, and have fun together.

My girlfriend and I will often talk about our day while playing simple games. It's a way to connect while doing something fun. The game becomes a backdrop for conversation, not the main focus. This makes it way more appealing to non-gamers.

Know When to Stop - End on a High Note

End on a high note. If someone's having fun, it's tempting to keep going, but it's better to stop while they're still enjoying it. That way they'll want to play again next time.

My girlfriend finished a tricky level and was super proud of herself. I could tell she was getting a bit tired, so I suggested we stop there. Now when I ask if she wants to play games, she actually says yes because her last memory of gaming is that good feeling of accomplishment, not being exhausted and frustrated.

I used to push to play "just one more level" and we'd end up playing until we were both exhausted. Now I'm better at recognizing when to stop. It's better to leave them wanting more than to play until they're sick of it.

The Results - It Actually Works

Look, not everyone's going to become a hardcore gamer. That's not the point. But I've gotten several friends who thought they "weren't into games" to actually have fun playing. The key is meeting them where they are.

Start simple, be patient, make it fun and social, and don't push too hard. You're not trying to convert anyone - you're just showing them that games can be another fun way to spend time together.

And who knows? They might surprise you. My girlfriend now reminds me when it's time for our weekly gaming night. Sometimes she'll even suggest trying new games. All because we started simple and kept it fun. She's never going to be a competitive gamer, and that's fine. But she enjoys playing games with me, and that's what matters.

If you have friends or family who think they don't like games, try these approaches. Be patient, start simple, and make it about having fun together. You might be surprised by how much they end up enjoying it.